This past weekend I attended a dance convention in Chicago. Now, i was a competitive dancer for several years, but this past year i stopped in order to have a normal "high school experience" and do things outside of school i never had been able to, ie. student government, the musical, etc.
Dance had always been my passion, and still is. As disgustingly cheesy as this is i really live and breathe dance even now without it as such an integral part of my life as it had been before. Just wanting to move or automatically choreograph in my head whenever i hear music just feels right to me.
I've had hurtful comments thrown at me such as, "you were a dancer, you're not anymore." or "i don't know how you could ever quit, i couldn't stand it, i love it too much i guess." hurt me more than anything because i still consider myself a dancer through and through and i love dance just as much if not more than any other dancer. taking a break doesn't mean i love it any less, i just love other things too.
Sooooo back to this whole dance competition thing, i had won a full-year dance scholarship last year to this convention and thought i'd travel with my old team to it so as not to waste the scholarship. I debated for a long time wether or not to go. Truth is i was afraid that i would miss dance too much afterwards and only further regret my decision. Yes, as stupid as it sounds, i was afraid of falling in love again with something that i know was meant to be in my life....again "cheese in a can-cheesy"
No scholarships this time. No special recognition, just a lot of sore muscles and realizing that pushing something out of my life to make me happier only made it worse.
As for next year, i have no idea.
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